Are you going to play?
Imagine you, your ex-wife and your children are contestants on a TV show called "The Blame Game ". We find that the master of ceremonies of the game is Jerry point your Finger, who is encouraging you and your ex. to express your resentment at one another. The crowd becomes energized with every angry exchange. They want more. We have no reluctance to point out how our former partner has hurt us. The Blame Game is off and running. It has developed a life of its own and its purpose is the destruction of our loving family.
Here's how the game works.
First - You and her start with the belief that it's completely the other persons fault.
Next- Neither one of you are going to take it anymore, you've had enough.
Finally - When the other person says or does something disrespectful, unkind or mean, you come back at them with your own mean and angry response.
You probably know this game. Here how you keep score. With every angry response, your children receive one or more dysfunctional points. As the game continues, you and the mother become more resentful and angry at each other. Your children are feeling your anger and are taken in all the negativity. They are beginning to absorb their parent's negative family heritage. The more anger we have, the greater the number of points that our children will receive. As the problems between you and her continue, so does the game. We are, through The Blame Game, raising children with large amounts of points and an abundance of problems that they will need to overcome as adults. Our success with the game will cause them to need unlearn what we have taught them. They may even experience a fail marriage, following our example and teachings.
You, as the Father, can only be the true winner of this game, by not playing. The game is rigged against your family.
There is a plan for our lives, we are not here as a random event. We all have a life that is purpose driven. As a Father we are here to learn about ourselves, so as to be a more effective example and teacher. We are required in this capacity to face who we are as a person. To take our shortcomings, make them our strength and by doing so, we will become the Father we know we can be.
The goal of this book is to help you get off the Blame Game Show. Reign as a contestant. The price to your family is too high. The way we can do that is by changing our habits of thinking and feeling. We need to alter the way we think about the mother of our children. I'm sure your children can learn despite us, but for better or worse, we will be their example. In order to gain the greatest benefit from this information, you'11 be asked to write on your thoughts and feelings, keep a daily journal. This will help guide you in understanding yourself better.
Let the Fathering begin.